of broken arms, broken legs and swords

When people hurt themselves (i am told) usually they atop doing whatever it was that caused them to have an accident. it took me awhile to learn that :S When i was nine i tried to learn how to rollerskate - I totally failed at this. Instead i, through repeatedly falling over, managed to break both bones in my right wrist and move the entire hand two inches to the left the odd, and slightly ridiculos thing about this is that, rather than after falling over a couple of times deciding maybe i should give up on the whole wheels on feet thing i just kept going, or rather kept stopping abuptly and more importantly, i kept falling in the same way! i think young people should all be taught how to fall properly, afterall they usually do it more often than everybody else. of course at the time i thought it was marveolous - no more maths lessons, and they gave me a glow in the dark cast

about 4 months later, my arm mostly better i contrived to be run over by a horse, this is a surprisingly easy thing to do, basically find a hungry horse and then stand between it and it's feed bucket, the final step is to try not to scream as that might scare the horse into running over you again, just in case it makes you shut up. luckily for me, all the horse in question trod on was the back of my left leg fracturing the bone and brusing the muscles (or rather the bit of leg where my mucles whould have been if i had had any, as a nine year old was rather scrawny). Again, as a nine year old i thought this was great because 1) i got a crutch and 2) meant in the school play i could be a pirate (as i already had the dodgy limp down)so was then permitted, nigh on encouraged, to hobble rampage with a wooden sword while shouting incomprehensible, high pitched vagugly piratical threats curses, and basically anything else that popped into my nine-year old mind. Strangly i thought that marvelous, and really liked the horse after that

it's a funny old world